


Get Yourself Free

by ThatClumsyGirl



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Dog BB-8, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, actually all droids are dogs, plot based on the movie, so no surprises, tons of strong language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 10:59:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6467533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatClumsyGirl/pseuds/ThatClumsyGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn breaks Poe out of a mental hospital, they spontaneously sort of adopt Rey and go on an aimless accidental road-trip, that eventually leads them to some old friends and a bittersweet end. Poe is broken, Finn is sweet, Rey is badass. And BB-8 is a Corgi.</p><p>(It's supposed to be a mix of funny and dark, but you'll be the judges of that, readers)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finn

**Author's Note:**

> (Title from a song by The Temperance Movement, whose music should have been the soundtrack to writing this, but wasn't)
> 
> So, this is my first ever contribution to this lovely website. And so much is wrong with this: I don't usually write fanfiction, especially about such complex things as Star Wars, I'm not a big fan of AUs and I'm always reluctant to put my stories “out there”. And yet here it is: A crack-fic (but still loosely based on the events of TFA where possible) with probably a most incorrect portrayal of mental illness and a lot of OOC-ness, that wouldn't leave me alone until I had completely written it down and I will upload it before my courage leaves me. Written in one go in ca. 36 hours without much break while I was “resetting my biological clock”, edited mostly on the fly, not beta-read.
> 
> One more thing: English isn't my first language (profanity-laced rural German is) so, feel free to point out Grammar mistakes and such. The setting is American, the accents are deliberately unspecific, the spelling is British and the idioms and slang are probably all over the Empire. 
> 
> Anyway, here goes. Enjoy!

(Chapter 1 … in which Finn acquires a friend, a name and an ambulance)

He doesn't remember when he made the decision. Maybe it was when he saw that Poe could make even the most hardened nurses smile (albeit secretly). Maybe it was when he noticed him for the first time and smiled at him like no-one ever had. Maybe it was when he heard Poe sing. Or maybe it was when he overheard the doctors talk about how they would “break that Dameron-guy, once and for all” and sneaked a peek at the list of drugs and techniques they intended to administer. He isn't a doctor, but he's seen this before. They will lay waste to Poe's character, cloud his mind, until he is just an empty shell. Permanent damage is likely. He won't let that happen. And also, there's a more selfish reason behind this, as well.

“Get up, right now”, he nudges the apathetic ex-pilot's shoulder.

“Huh?” Poe turns hazy eyes on him and falls back into the pillow with a grunt. “Oh, it's you. I've seen you before” 

Shit. He isn't supposed to be this drugged up, not yet. This could be the end of the plan. “You need to come with me. I'm breaking you out of here. And we have to go right now” The doctors have started their daily round at the end of the corridor. Not long now, and they will be here.

“This is some sort of trick” Poe shoots him a scrutinizing look, eyes slightly clearer. “You're just trying to trick me into being openly defiant. If you want to put me through the electrical shocks again, do so, without your fucking mind-games”

“Poe, please. Just trust me. Come on, we're running out of time” He imagines he can hear the doctors' voices already. If they catch him in here, they'll put him through the electrical shocks. Again.

“Alright. What difference does it make, anyway?” Poe sits up laboriously and runs a hand through his curly black hair and across the bruises on his face. “What's the plan?”

“I'll set off the fire alarm, we'll walk casually to the garage and steal an ambulance. But … there's a catch”

“I thought so. What is it?” Poe is coming to his senses more and more.

“I can't drive. Think you can drive an ambulance?” Please, please, please.

“I can drive anything … I fly a fighter-jet, y'know” Poe throws back the sheets and looks at his bare legs, blinking slowly. “Jeez, where in the hell have my pants got to?” He digs them up from under the bed, not bothering to pick off the dust and struggles into them.

“Okay, grab your stuff, anything you truly need. I'll go set off the alarm now” It is done in less than thirty seconds and when he returns to the room, Poe is fumbling his arms into an old leather jacket, looking around frantically at the same time.

“Where's my guitar? I'm sure I had it, just now” He picks up the sports-bag he's never unpacked in his four weeks here. 

“They've put it away in the basement. There's no time to get it. Now, come on” He pulls the older man by the hand and guides him through the commotion in the corridor. Someone is shouting for order and no panic. With the override keys, they clear the high-security wing in less than a minute. It's a good thing there was opportunity to disable the cameras this morning. Might buy them some time before they're found missing.

“Hey”, Poe says as they hurry down the back staircase that leads straight to the hospital garage, “What's your name?”

“Finland”

“Huh? No, I mean, your first name” He's so bewildered he slows down. It is time for that anyway. 

“It is. Finland Doe, or FD, for short. John Doe was just too boring. But most people call me the janitor, anyway”

Poe chuckles. “Well, your parents had some weird sense of humour”

“No parents. They mistook the blanket I was wrapped in for the Finnish flag when they found me in the trash container behind this place. That's how the story goes, at least”

Poe looks at him with something akin to pity in his dark eyes. Then his smile lights up. “I will call you Finn. Is that alright?”

“Very much. Finn. I like that” FD is in the past, now. He will start a fresh life as Finn. Finn … something or other. There'll be enough time to make up a last name, later. Whatever “later” will become of this.

“Nice to meet you, Finn. I'm Poe … And I haven't flown a fighter-jet for a while” The ex-pilot giggles most inappropriately.

“I know, you goof … And it's nice to meet you, too” They finally reach the garage and let go of each other's hands. There are three of the six ambulances parked neatly in line and ready to pull out any time. Finn nods a greeting at another janitor, keeping his face as stoic as possible, like they all know him.

“Hey, FD. Wait up a sec”, the guy yells and hurries over to them. Finn's attempts at shielding Poe from his sight are in vain. “Who's that guy?”

“Morning, Pete. This is my new intern”, he nudges Poe with his elbow and the pilot mumbles something unintelligible, “He's a bit slow today … Sorry, Pete, no time to chat. We have to get over there and pick up the … thing. Yeah, the thing”

“Whatever, FD. Catch you later” Pete shuffles away, mumbling something about the youth of today.

Finn takes a deep breath as he fumbles the key he's stolen earlier today from his pocket and pushes the remote. The left ambulance comes to life with a beep, he hands the key over to Poe and they climb into the vehicle.

“Alright, let's do this shit” Poe slams the key into the ignition and runs his frantically trembling hands across the steering-wheel and the dashboard. The engine starts with a shudder that makes Poe cackle like the lunatic he's proclaimed to be.

Suddenly, Finn doubts his brilliant idea. They should've just run, like, on their feet. Old-school. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm okay” Poe has broken into a cold sweat, beads are forming on his forehead already and he is shaking violently. He puts the accelerator down and the engine howls. “Oh, right. Parking brake. Parking brake!”, he mutters to himself and the next time he tries, the ambulance shoots forward with screeching tires. “Say, Finn. Does your plan involve sirens, at all?” Poe manoeuvres them out of the slip road and into traffic.

“Go ahead” Finn grins, as the deafening sound of the siren splits his ears and the traffic before them. Holy motherfucking shit, this is it. He's free. A laugh explodes from his chest.

He comes down from it a few minutes later as Poe pulls into a bus-stop and turns off the sirens. “We have to go back” His knuckles are white, clutching the wheel, and he's staring a hole into the wind-shield. “I have to find BeeBee”

“Who's BeeBee?” A friend of his? Another inmate Poe wants to save?

“My dog”


	2. Rey

(Chapter 2 … in which Rey analyses the situation, leaves her comfort zone and has doubts)

Rey watches the little Corgi with the peculiar tan and black markings chase birds through the grass. She has just finished packing up her few belongings and is already thinking about her campsite for the next night and possible sources for food later today. A week ago, she rescued the dog from three bullying young boys and the Corgi hasn't left her side ever since.

“Doggie! Come here!”, she calls out and whistles as she pulls the straps tight that hold the tattered old tarpaulin to her equally tattered backpack. The dog shoots towards her on stubby legs but stops midway, because another voice is also calling. A dark-haired Latino-type turns the corner into the shabby backyard and kneels down to cuddle the dog who is barking and jumping at him happily.

“There you are, my girl. I've missed you so much!”, he says to the Corgi, while another man – younger, dark-skinned, wearing an odd blue overall – steps up to him and fidgets nervously.

'His boyfriend', Rey thinks, as Dark Boy puts a hand on Latino Guy's shoulder, while she walks over to stop them from stealing her Corgi. “Not the dog you're looking for, man”, Rey growls.

“Of course she is. I know my BeeBee when I see her. And that's my phone number on her collar” He looks up and Rey is surprised to see tears in his eyes. He looks almost as beaten up as she, and he's just barely on the good side of skinny.

“We really should be going”, Dark Boy says and looks over his shoulder as if he expects Five-O to rush in any time.

“You can go, but you can't take my dog” Rey drops her backpack and props her hands up on her hips to be more imposing. Of course she's not imposing in her dirty grey sweater, ripped jeans and old Converse, all worn and loose around her thin body. She can tell from the bemused way they look at her. But she could kick both their asses with one hand, and she will if they don't leave that dog the fuck alone. “I found her and now she's mine”

“Well, I found her first”, Latino Guy says, “I found her just after I came back from the – never mind. BeeBee is coming with me … Of course you are, little buddy” He scratches BeeBee behind the ears, just as she likes it best.

“If you love her so much then why did you leave her outside that dreadful hospital for so long?” Rey almost spits the words. She'll never admit it, but she's scared to bits of that place. It is where she finds most of her food, though.

“Because I was in that dreadful hospital”, Latino Guy states matter-of-factly, picks up the Corgi and gets up, “I left her with a friend of mine, but she kept coming back to the hospital … Now, if you don't mind, I will take my dog and we will get the hell out of here”

Rey can't bring herself to attack this sad guy. She feels a pang of loss she didn't expect. BeeBee is the only friend she has in the world right now, she's kept her warm at night and kept her company when Rey needed it most. And now these assholes come along and take her away, just like that. That's why you should never get attached, it's always-

“Hey, girl” Latino Guy looks back over his shoulder and smiles at her. “You want to tag along? Or rather wait for whoever harassed you to come back?”

~*~

Their names are Finn and Poe and they have been on the run for … well, for about an hour, Rey learns from their conversation. They're both strikingly handsome (though dishevelled), very desperate but not very organised. Cue the following conversation:

Poe: “We have to change our clothes. You're very noticeable in that janitor's outfit” *gestures at Finn rakishly, across Rey in the middle-seat, holding BeeBee*

Finn: “Yeah, I s'pose. It's just …” *looks at his hands sheepishly*

Poe: “Don't tell me you haven't packed any clothes?” *incredulous, perched over the steering-wheel like he's in a fever* “You had everything else planned, right? You even sabotaged the fuck out of those security cameras”

Finn: “Well, yes. I was preoccupied, okay? I had a bag ready and packed, but I left it in my room. It was the heat of the moment … Man, I don't even have a toothbrush”

Poe: *laughs hoarsely* “Here, at least put this on over it, that will cover it a bit” *clumsily tries to take off his jacket while exceeding the speed limit by far, sirens silent in consideration of BeeBee*

Rey: “Whoa! Watch it!” *pulls the ambulance back into its lane, possibly saving their panicked asses* 

~*~

They have stopped in an old abandoned industrial park to catch a breath and think this over. Poe has found a pack of cigarettes and lights one off the other. He is restless in a way Rey has seen much too often and he's somewhat scary like this. But the way BeeBee cuddles up to him whenever he stops his frantic wandering makes her believe that he's a good guy, after all. And, anyway, there's Finn. He's sweet and clueless and most definitely a good guy and will stop him if Poe flips and tries any shit. Not that Rey can't defend herself, but raving madmen are a league of their own. Plus, Finn is pretty fit, it won't even take him much effort to hold down that scrawny lunatic.

“Alright, we need money and food, first of all. And then we need to lay off this ambulance and get a less flamboyant ride”, Poe says after he's walked off his madness, suddenly surprisingly clear.

“I forgot the clothes but I've packed all the money I have. It's not much” Finn holds up a bundle of notes for Poe's inspection.

“Buddy, that's fifty dollars. That won't even cover my smokes for a week, let alone food … Wait, that's all you have? But you had a job, right? You were paid?”

“Well, technically … I worked and lived there for free and got free food. It's been like that ever since I remember. I started work as a kid, as soon as I could walk, I guess. Sometimes, the inmates gave me a note or I found some on the floor. This is what I've saved ever since I knew what money was” Finn glances everywhere but not at them.

With the most stricken look Rey has ever seen, Poe pulls him into an embrace. “Oh, Finn, I'm so sorry. You were … you were a slave” He whispers the last word, then pulls himself together. “But you're not anymore and that's why we need money. Cash, preferably, because as soon as I use any of my cards they'll be on us like the hounds”

Not for the first time, Rey wonders what exactly these two are running from, but she puts that off for later. “I can get us food with no money, if that helps. I've been doing it for years … But then we do need fuel, as well …”

“Not if we can steal a solar-car … Alright, Poe, focus. No drifting, that's childish … I will liquidate my bank accounts and we will travel with a bag full of notes, like them in the movies”, he chuckles at Finn and Rey's blank expressions, “Oh, come on. You know, the gangsters with the … never mind”

“We should go to one side of the city, close to an interstate link”, Rey says suddenly and has no idea where that's coming from, “We'll find a bank there. You get your money, then we head back and go in a completely different direction. Whoever's chasing you will think you've gone on that interstate and we'll be rid of them for a while”

Poe gives her a blinding smile and nudges her with his shoulder. “I knew it was a good idea to take you in” And in that moment, Rey is sure that he is a good guy.

~*~

They've spent Finn's fifty dollars on preservable food for themselves and BeeBee, a supply of bottled water, smokes for Poe, and a toothbrush. Now, they're sitting on the curb in front of the supermarket, watching Poe through the windows of the bank, how he flirts his way to a bag full of money. He may look like he's been through hell but his charm takes effect nonetheless. Beaming, he exits with said bag and the cashier-girl's number on a slip of paper. They make their way back to the ambulance that's hidden away two blocks down.

“That's it, guys. Let's get out of this godforsaken hellhole! Yeehaw!” Poe turns on the sirens (he waits for Rey to put her hands over BeeBee's ears) and they cut through the afternoon traffic smoothly. He's dangerously exhilarated and Finn has to keep him from sticking his head out of the window a few times. A while after dark, they find a cheap motel far enough from the city.

~*~

Rey wakes up in the middle of the night and spends a moment paralysed because she doesn't know where she is. Then it comes back to her. She has left her old well-known life as a homeless teenager and run off in an ambulance with two dorks and a dog. The dog has curled up next to her on the bed she's sharing with Poe. When she had insisted she take the couch and he share it with his boyfriend instead, both had just looked at her dumbfounded, then doubled over laughing. Not boyfriends. Oops.

BeeBee's ears twitch and Rey hears the noise again that woke her up. Poe is in the bathroom, retching and sobbing; she can see him, the door is half open. Finn is kneeling above him, one hand holding his head, the other stroking his back, mumbling soothing things into his shoulder. Not boyfriends. Pfft. 'But they will be, soon enough', Rey thinks with a smile. If – yes, if – Poe survives withdrawal. She doubts the latter.


	3. Poe

(Chapter 3 … in which they make the news, burn the evidence and Finn keeps the jacket)

All Poe wants to do is sleep, or drift, or whatever it is his mind is doing. He is comfy, a strong warm body is pressed against his back and BeeBee is nuzzling his hand. But then the body pulls away and, like a shock, Poe catches up with himself. The war, the breakdown, the clinic.

“Poe, come on. You have to at least open your eyes” Finn sounds … worried? Pissed off?

'Whatever the hell happened last night?', Poe wonders while he forces his eyes open against the blinding, dancing lights and scoots up on the bed a little, to sit up.

“That's it, much better” Finn carefully strokes his hair and Poe has the nagging feeling this has happened before. Something rattles. “Here, take this” A pill is shoved between his lips, and another one, then a bottle of water. He swallows obediently. “I stole them from the clinic. If we spread them out, we should be able to get through without dramas like last night, until we can get you to a doctor. At least that's how I think it will work”

Poe lies back and blinks at him; Finn is still wearing that silly overall. Instead of asking one of the hundred burning questions on his tongue, Poe pulls his bag from underneath the bed. “You can borrow some of my clothes until we've found you your own. We should be about the same size, though they might be a bit tighter on you”

“Thank you” Finn is so relieved it's positively heartbreaking. 

While he's in the bathroom, Poe catches up on all the cuddling with BeeBee he's missed over the last weeks while the meds slowly kick in and the world sharpens before his eyes. The girl, Rey, comes in with three take-away mugs of coffee, some sandwiches and a newspaper. She's wearing different, cleaner clothes, but no less shoddy than the first set. 'I will get her something nice once we hit the shops. And for Finn, too', Poe thinks as he finally hoists himself out of bed. Although, there's something oddly soothing about seeing Finn in his clothes, Poe realizes as the young man comes back in.

They drink their coffee and Poe manages to nibble at the sandwich a bit without gagging, which is an achievement.

“That newspaper was a brilliant idea, by the way”, Poe says as he glances over the headlines, then stops in wonder, “But I don't think the German Financial Times will have anything to say about our adventures, however entertaining-” He can watch Rey's face fall and regrets his sarcasm instantly. “You don't know how to read, do you?”

She looks up defiantly, a sparkle in her green eyes. “No, I do not. At least, not much”

But Poe can see what she's trying to hide. “No shame in it, kid. How the fuck would you know? I suppose you've lived on the streets all your life”

“Yeah, been alone ever since I was about five”, she drops her walls a little bit, “I learned how to kick butt, though”

“Oh, I don't doubt that” Poe likes how refreshingly badass this girl is. There's a raw power radiating from her he hopes will rub off on him a little bit. And she seems to see through people like they're fish tanks. “And how old are you now?”

“Nineteen. I think. If I've counted the Christmases and fireworks correctly”

“Phew. Then at least they won't charge us for abducting a minor, if they catch us … I'm off to the shower now. Hope this isn't one of those idiotic “limited supply of hot water” places … Someone should take BeeBee for a walk, the other one makes sure we don't leave anything behind and we will get the fuck outta here as soon as possible”

~*~

“-- has fled from the First Order Mental Health Centre” The news anchor's flat voice stops Poe mid-stride in the doorway. A picture of himself grinning like a madman fills the tiny TV-screen. “Dameron is considered dangerous and is possibly armed. Prior to his admission to First Order, the former Air Force pilot engaged in a car-chase with the local FBI-unit and several police” Aerial shots of the wreckage are shown. “Nine people were injured, a father of two was killed. Furthermore, Finland Doe, one of the clinic's employees-” Poe snorts a bitter laugh that alerts the two young people and the dog to his presence. Employee! How dare they? “- has vanished. Witnesses report to have seen him with Dameron during the presumed time of escape. It is unclear whether he is his accomplice or his hostage. If you see one of these two men or a suspicious ambulance vehicle, please call 911 immediately” His and Finn's photos are shown again.

A hole opens in Poe's stomach and he feels like he's going to be sick again when he sees the mistrust in Rey's eyes. Finn just looks worried. He knew what he'd let himself in on beforehand. Poe has to take a shaky breath before he can detach himself from the doorframe and smile at them. “Well, I guess I should grow a beard. And we'll get a pair of fake glasses for Finn … Now, c'mon, we need a new set of wheels” Rey opens her mouth to say something but Poe cuts her short. “I promise, I'll explain later. We need to get out of here, right now. There's a used-car dealer just down the road from here”

“What do we do with the ambulance?”

Poe considers for less than a moment. “We should torch it”, he says evenly, but apparently not evenly enough because they both flinch, “We will drive it away from here, out of sight, throw in that disgraceful overall and set it on fire … Don't you gimme that look. I'm not a raving madman, god-dammit, I'm just being practical about the Evidence”

Ten minutes later, he rips out the wiring harness from underneath the steering wheel and prepares it so it will slowly set the seats on fire and eventually catch on the gasoline-drenched overall, all while carelessly dangling a burning cigarette from the corner of his mouth.

“Farewell, ambulance”, he salutes sharply, “It's been a blast driving you … Alright, kids. Let's clear the area in a casual, yet quick fashion. We have a few minutes before the smoke gives it away”

They hurry down to the car-dealer's and after much debate (Poe dashed at the DeLorean but Finn and Rey found it too flashy and expensive for their purposes) they settle for a Nissan from the 90's with a faded blue paint job and a dented bumper. In addition, Poe selects a few maps of states in different corners of the country. Might as well obscure his tracks as best he can. If everything goes according to plan, they won't even leave New Mexico, but double back on those tracks in a few days. Wait, when did he form a plan?

~*~

They drive all day. Poe sings along pretty much every song the radio throws at him and BeeBee barks the beat occasionally, just like they used to do, before the – never mind. The two youngsters keep shooting him sidelong glances of concern but he decides to ignore them and play drums on the steering-wheel instead. Man, how he misses his guitar.

“Where are we going?”, Finn finally pipes around lunchtime.

“How the hell would I know? You said “drive”, so I drove. Am driving. Whatever … Let's stop for lunch and go over this” Poe pulls into the parking-lot of a conveniently located diner but goes past without missing a beat when he sees a police-car parked outside. “Okay, let's go over this while driving. What was your plan, beyond stealing an ambulance and leaving the city?”

“I had none. I never dared to hope it would work out”

“Dammit, kid. I was hoping you'd say Las Vegas” Poe chuckles but apparently the joke is lost on them. “Just kidding. So you had no idea where to go with your flashy new ambulance and your equally flashy new friend? Just jumping into the blue? … Don't worry, I can improvise. I do in fact have a plan, but it also involves driving aimlessly for a few days, for now. Only thing we have to do is avoid detection and avoid lingering too long. Are you in?”

“I am” Finn leans back and relaxes a bit.

“Me, too. Whatever” Rey shrugs it off, but her lips still look tight and she seems ready to strangle Poe at the first false move.

“Excellent. Let's stop for lunch, now” This time, he really pulls up, in the car-park of a middle-sized mall-type structure on the edge of a town. They step out of the car and stretch their limbs, BeeBee happiest of all to get out of there. “And while we're at it, we can buy clothes for you guys”

“Now that you mention it, I'm still wearing your jacket” Finn hastily tries to slip it off, but Poe pulls it back over his shoulders, which fill it out way better than Poe's own.

“No, no, no. Keep it, it suits you” He smiles and holds Finn's heartbeat under his palm a few seconds longer than he should. He imagines he feels it trip a little.


	4. Finn [edited]

(Chapter 4 … featuring Rey kicking ass, a car-chase and confessions)

The Mall is almost sensory overload for Finn. He was never allowed out much while he worked for … or “was with”? … or “was held by”? … the First Order (always had to wear an electronic tag outside), so loads of chattering people, screens flashing advertising and all the colours nearly send him into a fit he has seen so many inmates go down in, including Poe, who walks cheerfully next to him and takes his hand every time he feels Finn needs it.

And he needs it a lot. Every now and again, his mind sneaks off and tries to encompass the whole place he finds himself in – first the Mall, then the town, the desert … finally, the world. This world he's so suddenly thrown himself into without thinking much. The world he has always wanted to be a part of. It tips him off balance, makes him feel small and lost and cold and dizzy. (Finn suspects it might be what they call “agoraphobia”, but maybe he's just plainly overwhelmed) He's never made a plan for after his escape; he has no idea what to do with his life, he doesn't even have an identity. Finn thinks of all the heroes in the adventure stories he loves so much and tries to push his fears away, like they do. He'll dwell on them when this is over. Whatever “this” is.

That's where Poe's hand comes in. The solidity and warmth of it pull him back to his place in space and time and the always present tremble reminds him to focus. It makes him feel safe and alert at the same time. Reminds him of the two tasks he has set for himself: keeping Poe on his sane side/comforting him through the bad hours and figuring out a way to give Rey all the cuddles she deserves without her ripping his head off.

Poe squeezes Finn's hand again, runs a reassuring thumb over his knuckles and smiles before he lets go and grabs a red T-shirt with some sort of dragon printed onto it from a rack and holds it in front of Rey who pulls a face. “This is perfect. Come on, Rey … Finn, what do you think?”

~*~

They make their way back to the car some time in the late afternoon, Poe and Finn laden with bags and boxes. Rey lags behind, like she's done all day. Suddenly, she's gone completely but as Finn looks over his shoulder, he sees her just stooped down to tie her shoe and give BeeBee a pat. No need to worry. Why is he so on edge? Must be the sensory overload. Two minutes later, the girl's earth-shattering shriek nearly stops his heart.

He drops everything he's holding into the boot of the car, like he was going to do either way, and wheels around to run and safe her from the two guys who have rounded up on her. But after a few steps, he sees it's unnecessary. BeeBee just shoots past him and hides behind Poe's legs. Rey, wild-eyed and crouching like a tiger, has jumped onto the back of a pick-up truck, from where she kicks one guy in the chest and punches the other one's nose with her bony fist. They run away, a hilarious mixture of awe and agony on their faces.

“Woohoo! Give 'em hell, girl!”, Poe yells, “Come on now, before they come back with security thugs”

They all jump into the car and Poe hightails it out of the car park. When Finn looks at her over his shoulder, Rey is rubbing her knuckles. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Of course” She seems positively bewildered at the question but there is no time to ponder because, a second later, they're skidding around a corner and Rey clutches BeeBee who is barking in alarm.

“We're being followed”, Poe wheezes between clenched teeth, “Hold on, kids”

Finn can make out the inconspicuous black SUV that mirrors every one of their sharp turns and finally gets stuck behind them in heavy traffic.

“Oh, how I wish we still had that ambulance. Sirens, man”, Poe almost sobs and Finn is not surprised to see him as white-knuckled and frantic as during their escape, “And we'll never outrun them in this shitty piece of scrap-metal”

“Is it the cops?”, Rey asks in a small, terrified voice. BeeBee is cowering in her arms, lying low.

Finn takes a steadier look over his shoulder. “No, it's First Order. I know that guy from somewhere” 'Alright, Finn, breathe. Poe can get us out of here. He can drive anything. He's not allowed to zone out now … Do not think about the past … Shut up!'

“I'm not going back, I'm not” His eyes feverish and black as night, Poe flicks the little switches on the ventilation things.

'Too late. Zoning out completed' “Poe, this is not a jet. It's an oldish ca-aaah!” Finn is flung to the side as Poe shoots into a little side street, then another, and another until he finally stops and the world gets the chance to spin back into place. Half as bad, no harm done. Finn shakes himself with a groan. 'Okay, focus, focus'

“I think – we lost him” Poe is pale, panting and his cheeks are tear-streaked.

“It's alright, yeah. I think we did … You okay, Rey? BeeBee?” Rey seems less fazed than Finn is as she nods and BeeBee just gives an angry yap and looks at Finn like it's his fault. But Poe isn't okay. He's wheezing, forehead resting on the steering-wheel between his clutching hands. 'Shit, he's hyperventilating', Finn thinks, but before he can say anything to calm him down, Poe has jumped out of the car and is bracing himself on the alley wall, pulling at his throat. He falls to his knees unceremoniously and vomits into the nearest manhole cover.

~*~

Still a little shaken, they are sitting on the floor in a dirty out-of-the-way motel two hours later and Poe is twirling the Coke bottle Finn got for him earlier to wash his medicine down with and put a little sugar in his bloodstream. “Okay, let's play a little round of “Show me yours, I'll show you mine”. We will take turns spinning the bottle and the one it points to will tell something about him- or herself the others don't yet know. Or that not all of the others know. No interrupting, no judging, no pitying. As lackadaisical as possible, please. Here goes”

Rey: “I don't know what lackadaisical means, but I'll give it a try … I vaguely remember my mother. When I was five, she promised to be back soon, but she never came again. I waited all the time”

Finn: “I never knew my parents, either. I don't even know where I come from. I was dumped in a trash container wrapped in a blue and white blanket”

Finn: “I was raised by the First Order and never knew anything beside work in that dreadful hospital. I'd run away a few times before but they always caught me again and … hurt me. I'm glad I finally got out but I've given up everything I know and this terrifies me”

Poe: “The incident on the news happened when I was very sick. I thought I'd shot my neighbour, was racked with paranoia and drove in the wrong lane on the interstate. I never meant for anyone to get hurt, let alone killed, and I sent checks to all the families involved. None was ever cashed”

Rey: “I've been arrested multiple times on charges of assault, but it was always self-defence and they let me go”

Poe: “First Order wasn't the first mental hospital I was sectioned to, it was the third. The first two weren't so bad and felt more like help, less like punishment”

Poe: “I haven't thanked Finn for breaking me out of there, yet. Thank you” * gives Finn one of his bedazzling smiles* “I think you saved my life, buddy”

Finn: “Never mind. Saved my own, too” *sheepishly* “Rey, I've seen you around a few times and wanted to help you, but didn't really know how. It was I who left the apple pie on the window ledge for you the day you found BeeBee. That's how we knew where to look for her, by the way”

Rey: “It was a lovely apple pie, thank you … You guys are the first friends I've ever had and I'm not sure how to deal with that” *smiles*

Finn: “Me neither … I've been bullied a lot over the colour of my skin”

Finn: “Sometimes I think I'm one of the First Order's sick experiments, to see just how much lovelessness and loneliness it takes for a human to become … un-human”

Poe: “What a luck they didn't succeed … They conducted some sick experiments on me as well” *touches a mark the electric shocks have left on his temple* “I forgot who I was, forgot even to breathe, until everything was pain”

Poe: “I always wanted to be a musician when I was a kid, like my mother. She died when I was eight, she had cancer”

Rey: “An older homeless man once tried to teach me how to read, for a while. I paid him by letting him touch me” *starts shaking* “One day, he ripped off my clothes and I kicked his skull in … I think he died”

Finn: “I've gone through the electric shocks, as well …” *shivers* “And I've seen dead bodies being carried out of those treatment-rooms … I helped get rid of them, sometimes”

Rey: *flatly* “Before I found BeeBee, I was on the verge of killing myself … But I want to live, now”

Poe: *reaches to stroke Rey's hair, but thinks better of it, pats her shoulder instead* “My father is a well-known philosophy professor and a pacifist. I joined the military just to rebel, I never thought they'd send me to a real war. Dad still refuses to talk to me”

Poe: “Killing people from a distance is easy, like a video game, until it catches up with you in your dreams … The last time I was deployed, my plane was shot down, but I was rescued by the locals. They were kind, they nursed me back to health. The very same people who I'd been dropping bombs on. I stood before them and looked them straight in the eyes and nothing, no apology – nothing! – I could offer would ever-” *sobs, hides his face in his hands*

Finn: “Okay, enough of this game” *scuttles over to Poe and wraps him in his arms tenderly*

Rey: *softly, wiping her eyes* “Wow, this really helped”

A minute later, Poe starts laughing and they both join in. They can't stop. It feels like being reborn.

~*~

Finn wakes up to a cold bed the next morning; Rey is humming in the bathroom and Poe is nowhere to be seen. He finally finds him outside, by the payphones, urgently speaking into one while his fingers open and close around a supply of coins. BeeBee is dancing around his legs as active as ever and demanding attention. Poe hangs up the phone, scoops the Corgi up from the floor and flashes Finn a smile.

“Morning, buddy. I've just secured our plan. But to be on the safe side, we should stay away from civilization from now on. We have our food supplies, after all. We'll sleep in the car, underneath the stars”, he nudges Finn's shoulder, “You're gonna love it”

“Have you taken your meds?” There's something manic in his eyes again but Finn doesn't know if it's the illness, the withdrawal or his real character.

“Yeah. Seeing as we're trying to spread it out, I went with half a pill of each … There's something I need to check, hang on” He hands BeeBee over, throws himself on the dusty floor next to the car without much ado and sticks his arm underneath. There is a clanking noise. “Aha!” Poe holds up a battered little metal box. “A GPS-transmitter. The bastard must've put it on while we were in the Mall, then followed us to distract us. He never meant to catch us. But this thing was crushed in the chase, apparently, otherwise they'd be here by now”

“But they know the kind of car we're driving now. They know the plates”

“No worries. We passed by a scrapyard, Rey can sneak in and see if she finds a pair of clean new ones, while I distract the people. In the meantime, you will be in the hardware store next to the scrapyard and very stealthily buy, let's say, three cans of black quick-drying spray paint, a face mask, sticky tape and some sort of paper to cover the windows with. And some camping supplies – I'll make you a list. It will all be fine”


	5. Rey

(Chapter 5 … in which things are beautiful and Rey gets scared)

Poe's joy is almost irritating. Rey has slept outside all her life, she can't see how this will be different, in the desert, many miles away from the comforting walls of multi-storey houses. But when he orders her and Finn to lie back on the ground in the dark and look up, she obeys – and gasps. It's so … beautiful. So wide and glittery and curious. Rey never knew there were truly so many stars.

“You know, if the air were cleaner, there'd be even more of them. I read it in a book somewhere …”, Finn whispers, as awe-struck as herself.

“See, I told you you'd like it” Poe is lounging cross-legged against the car, devouring a can of peaches, BeeBee sleeping at his side.

Rey doesn't know if it's the stars, her new friends or the fact that she hasn't been hungry for three days, but the ice she has kept around her heart seems to be melting slowly and it's a good feeling. Like the warm trickle of that caramel sauce Poe had whipped up on the camping stove earlier, to go with their dinner of popcorn.

~*~

“*Well, Savannah almost killed me, with cheap beer and Irish Whiskey, singing songs, loud and out of tune …*”

'Exactly', Rey thinks, as she listens to Poe belt out the words to the songs on a CD the guy from the scrapyard had given him the day before; Finn is sitting next to him, tapping his fingers in time on the dashboard or the door.

Maybe the music could be beautiful, if only they'd shut up and let her listen for a minute. Hell, now that she thinks about it, Poe's voice would definitely be beautiful if only he gave it a little more attention and less overboard manic energy. Funny, how many things are suddenly beautiful.

'Man, this silly broken pilot, his silly cute friend and his lovely dog are really changing me', she muses, as the barren landscape shoots past the window, 'What have I got myself into, seriously?'

The song changes into another catchy melody. “*I wish I was a pilot, soaring over everyone and everything …*” With a strangled, disgusted noise Poe fumbles across the buttons until it changes again. He is slightly less enthusiastic afterwards.

~*~

“Licence and registration, please” A police officer with those huge reflecting sunglasses and a cowboy hat leans into the car. They are stopping everyone on this road, it seems. Their guns are levelled at the ready and there's an overall feeling of hostility.

“I'm sorry, officer. I don't have my licence with me … And it's not my car. Borrowed it from a friend of my uncle's in Oklahoma. Name eludes me” Poe shrugs, smiling, and Rey wonders if the officer can see the hair on his neck stand up or the throbbing of his pulse underneath his skin. If she can see it, surely can he.

“What's your name? Unless that eludes you, as well”

“Benjamin Solo, Sir. This is my cousin Rey and her boyfriend Finn” He says it with so much conviction, even Rey doubts it's a lie for a moment. Maybe his name isn't Poe, after all? And when the officer actually comes up with someone of that name on his tablet and is satisfied, she wants to jump out of the car and just run away, but the silly thing only has doors in the front.

“And whereabouts are you headed?” The officer still hasn't got everything he needs.

“Ultimately? Truth or Consequences, visiting Grandma. But it's a road trip, you never know where it takes you” It's such an odd answer, Rey can feel panic claw at the back of her throat.

“Very well, Mister Solo. By the way, one of your headlights is broken” He waves a thumbs-up at his fellow officers who step aside.

“I will have it replaced straight away. Have a good day, officer” Slowly and casually, Poe puts his shades back on and drives through the road-block. Finn lets out a low whistling breath and obviously resists the urge to look over his shoulder. They drive for about a mile, then Poe pulls up and jumps out in one of his frantic flurries that come and go so easily.

“What's going on?”, Rey whispers, her voice squeaky with fear and held breaths.

“He's checking for tracking devices”, Finn answers calmly, not concerned at all.

“What about those things he said? Didn't that go suspiciously well?”

“That's exactly why he's checking”

“No, I mean … About that name? And that obviously made up place? Truth or – something or other” Does she have to spell it out? 'He's lying to us, you sweet naïve boy!'

“Truth or Consequences”, Poe says as he slips back into the driver's seat and starts the engine, all in one smooth motion, “An actual place, South of here … The key to a good lie, cousin Rey, is to know your place and go on from there … But I'm not naturally a good liar, so you can relax. Or not. Depending on what you're so afraid of”

“But who's Benjamin Solo?”

“Just a well-picked false identity. Drop it, Rey” The way Finn shrugs it off tells her that he knows something she doesn't. And the way Poe furrows his brow as he meets her gaze in the mirror, tells her she will know any moment now.

“Ben's an old friend and I know his record is cleaner than mine. He won't mind a bit of identity-theft. Looks enough like me in his licence photo to mistake us in the right light. Shame this only works when I'm sitting down. He stands about a head taller than me … Seriously, if that guy had asked me to step out, I would've dashed”

Rey can tell there's more to it than he says, but she takes Finn's advice and drops it. For now. Half-heartedly, she joins in their relieved laughter.

The “Benjamin-Solo-Sir-Your-Headlight's-Broken-Goodbye” trick works on two more road-blocks, then Poe is too shaky with nerves to risk it again.

“Jeez, and I thought these were the safe back-roads” His never-resting fingers smooth the crinkles in the map against the hood. “We'll have to worm past them on the true rat runs, back and beyond. I'd better give the old jalopy a few touch-ups”

Rey understands only half of that, but then he starts ripping out loose plastic parts and comments: “Ah, unnecessary clattery shit. You go first”, and she sees where this is going. She loots the toolbox in the trunk of the car, unaware of her own splitting smile.

“Whatever is going on?” Finn makes a disgusted face at his chocolate bar and offers it to BeeBee, who finds it equally un-tasty. Having learned from the mistake of throwing food away in Rey's presence the day before, he gulps it down, anyway. Rey has found the right tools and wriggles underneath the car to fix the shock absorbers.

“We're adjusting the car for the worse road-conditions we will come across … And learning that our little Rey of sunshine knows how to do that” For once, Poe doesn't sound jumpy or over the top, but concentrated.

“Don't call me that” Rey wriggles out again when she's finished the task, covered in dirt and brake dust. She stands next to him and watches his usually fidgety hands deftly check the engine for anything out of the ordinary.

“How do you guys know how to do that? Is it … a thing? I mean, among people in general?” Finn has learned most of what he knows about the world from books, he's told her.

“No idea how to answer that last question, buddy … But when I'm not a pilot or a mental case, I'm a car mechanic” Poe smiles, his arms buried elbow-deep in the entrails of “the old jalopy”, grease and soot on his forehead and Rey is sure she has never seen anyone look so serene.

But she pulls herself together straight away. “I always just tinkered with everything I could get my hands on”, she answers belatedly, “Helped out the odd mechanic for some money, now and again. But I'm by no means an expert”

“I wish I knew about those things. Do you think you could teach me?” Finn watches their actions attentively but it's obvious he has no idea.

“Sure will. I hope, we'll have plenty of time once we're there”, Poe has deemed the check-up complete and closes the hood noisily, “And I will definitely teach you two how to drive”

“Awesome”, Finn beams at him, then frowns, “Wait. Once we're where?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song #1: American Aquarium - Savannah almost killed me (Nice road trip music and also what I had stuck in my head for 12 hours while writing this)  
> Song #2: White Buffalo - The Pilot (Beware! of this song. The first verse is a sweet romantic ode to flying, the rest will forever haunt your nightmares. So catchy it should be forbidden)


	6. Poe

(Chapter 6 … featuring old friends, Han Solo quoting Lewis Carroll and an improvised speech)

They're driving back North, then West, going by compass and Poe's instinct. It's a delight not telling the kids where they're headed and Poe doesn't know how to explain it, anyway. He just knows he gets all giddy in the good way the closer they come and when they're finally behind the sign that says “Organa Ranch. All trespassers will be made example of swiftly and precisely (i. e. shot and hanged) You've been warned”, 24 hours after the first road-block, he lets out a deep breath he didn't realize he has been holding. By the “Second Warning!” sign, he is going so fast that Finn lays a hand on his arm and tells him to slow the fuck down. (Finn has built up so much trust in him and his driving, he actually fell asleep on some of the less bumpy rat runs, yesterday) After he stops in front of the whitewashed oldish wooden building that is the “Central House”, they have to let the dust settle for a minute. They clamber out of the car and BeeBee scatters the rest of the brave chickens that have stood through the dramatic arrival. The household's two old dogs, Artoo and Threepio, come along to greet him, neither of them too old to jump at him and nearly throw him over backwards.

“Poe! Fucking! Dameron!”, a familiar voice calls and Poe's heart leaps. His old friend Jessika, still dark-haired, slight and pretty and still working here, runs towards him from the front-steps and pulls him into a bone-breaking hug. “Where have you been, you old scoundrel? Two fucking years and not a word from you! How dare you actually show your face here again? Snap has lost and then gained half his weight over worry for you. You fucking idiot! We thought you were dead! … Wait, you're not dead, are you? Sure do look a bit like a zombie”

“Jess, bloody hell”, Poe huffs, when he finally gets in a word, “I've missed you, too” He pulls her close again tenderly. “Really, I have”

“Oh, get off me” She laughs and ruffles his hair but not as roughly as she normally would have.

A man steps onto the porch behind her and Poe can only stare at him for a moment. Still tall, wiry and with that unmistakeable twinkle in his eyes, but he surely does look more than two years older. “Han Solo. The smuggler”, Poe says more solemnly than he had intended and he can barely refrain from calling him “Mylord”.

“Poe, the pirate, Dameron” Han pulls him into a short coarse hug. “I should yell abuse at you, kid, but Jessika has seen to that already. But do just look at yourself. You look like cougar crap twice run over with – my old Nissan?”, he gives the car behind Poe a curious once-over, “Whatever did you do to her, you band of rogues?”

“Is it really? The one we called Millie? The shoddy rust-bucket did seem kinda familiar … Wasn't quite fit for our uses on ye olde smuggling roads” Poe waves his friends over, who look more than just a bit intimidated. “Guys, this is Han Solo. Lord of all smugglers, honorary second Dad of mine and a man so riddled in secrets I couldn't possibly warn you about him … Han, meet my friends Rey, a talented mechanic, and Finn, who keeps my shit together for me and whom you would recognise from the mugshots, if you had TV out here”

“We do have TV. You're the ambulance boy, then?”, Han simply says with a wink as he shakes Finn's hand. 

“Mr. Solo, it's erm”, Finn begins with one of his friendly smiles, but loses his track halfway through. Poor guy's probably never met anyone's parents, let alone anyone's “parents”. But, surprisingly, he catches himself before Poe has to save him. “It's easy to tell where Poe gets his impressive array of colourful language from”

“And it's also very nice to meet you”, Rey chimes in and shakes his hand in that firm way of hers, nudging Finn's ribs with a tremendous roll of her eyes. Behind them, Jessika doubles over laughing.

For a second, Han Solo is speechless. Then he looks back to Poe who is bursting with glee and shakes his head. “Pirate, you're still unbeatable at picking your friends. They'll fit right in. *We're all mad here, Alice …* Come on. The boss is in and she'll explode if she has to sit on her dramatic “Welcome back” speech a second longer. I had mine this morning”

Poe thinks he hears Finn whisper the words “Lewis Carroll” and “I will read it to you” to Rey behind him. They walk up the steps, BeeBee shoots past them and into the cool, dim interior of the house, where Leia Organa Solo is indeed waiting, glaring so furiously, Poe is fifteen again and has collapsed a shed onto himself and the tractor, drunk. BeeBee runs right back out, clever little thing. But as soon as Leia gets a good look at Poe, her anger crumbles like a biscuit and seeps into the worn floorboards.

“My boy”, she says in a shaky voice and steps up to him, laying a calloused hand on his face, “My dear boy, what have they done to you?” 

And Poe simply can't contain his heart any longer. He collapses on the much smaller woman's shoulder, and sobs for fuck knows how long. All the anger, all the fear, all the guilt simply unload, shatter and also seep into the worn floorboards, like so many times before. No-one speaks and he will always love them for that. “I'm s-sorry I n-never called, I was …” 'What? Locked up half the time and on the best way back there, the other half? Fallen mute? Spinning in and out of a black hole?' “I wasn't myself. I'm sorry, Auntie” That nickname is only used on special occasions and Poe knows she acknowledges it.

“I was going to slap you, you know” Another thing reserved for special occasions. Occasions like a combination of tractor, moonshine and garden-shed.

“I was deserving. But you wouldn't slap a needy man. Not one of your own kind” Poe has regained control over his voice and beckons his friends over yet again. “These are the only two blessed souls who haven't had the heart to tell me how bad I look”

~*~

They've had lunch and long showers and are now lounging in the shade of a chestnut tree with iced tea at their disposal. Suddenly, Rey sits up sharply.

“Okay, enough downtime, pirate. Who the fuck are those people and what are we actually doing here? And why do they have the same name as your false identity?”

“Because Ben is their son. Estranged son”, Poe begins at the simple yet equally hard end, “I grew up on my family's farm, just over there”, he gestures behind himself lazily, “We're not actually related to the Solos, but we were always close … Leia runs this farm-business with Jess as her deputy, but in reality … It's all just a huge cover-up for something some people might call a militia, others might call conspiracy theorists and most would call crazy. We simply call it the “Resistance” and it is fighting to reveal and stop the influence of the First Order, which, as we all know, is a cult akin to Scientology … And now enough of your soddy complicated questions” 

Poe lets himself fall back and closes his eyes. He is so tired. So terribly, ground-breakingly tired, and why can't it all just stop for a while and leave him alone? A soft hand touches his bruised left temple and he falls against Finn, sinks into his lap.

“Listen, Rey”, Finn says, probably sensing that she won't let it go, right now, “Could you please stop watching us for half an hour? We won't dissolve while you're gone. We need … You know”

“We need … a thing” Poe giggles, as he thinks of Finn's ridiculously transparent way of talking himself out of something. He's a good man, Finn. Honest up to the tips of his teeth.

“Alright, relax. She's gone”

“I like the kid, but she can be a nuisance”, Poe mumbles and settles against Finn. He has been waiting for a moment like this, to truly talk to him in private, no panic-attacks or scrawny girls or scary stalkers. Just why does he have to be so tired, right now?

“Are you okay, hm?”, Finn asks softly and runs his fingers through Poe's hair. He seems to have thing for that and so does Poe.

“Abso-fucking-lutely” Poe blinks wearily against the sunlight. “Are you okay? Been meaning to ask you for ages, ever since we got into that jet … car … ambulance, fuck's sake”

“More than okay. Never been better”

Poe reaches up to stroke his cheek. “Are you sure?” His fingers meet the corner of a smile.

“I am free. I can live how ever I please. How could I be happier?”

“Mh, good … Still, you could have just run and left me there or laid me off at some point. Could've gone to fucking Mexico or somewhere”

“What, and miss all of this? Not for the world, Poe … Right here and now, just the way it is, that's where I belong” He smiles warmly, his eyes soft like molten chocolate, his skin like actual chocolate and his form framed in the rain of light from the leaves.

Poe could play dumb and pretend not to know what this feeling is, but he's too old for that. He, Poe “Pirate” Dameron, is in love with Finn, no last name stated, to a quite staggering degree. In love with this sunny, caring, courageous miracle of a man. It almost slips out of his fatigued mouth – or maybe it does? – but he sobers up a bit when he sees Finn solemnly shake his head at an approaching person. 'Okay, it's time, Pirate. Your luxury five minutes are over', his conscience calls.

“It's fine, Poe. The world can turn without you for a bit longer. Lie back down” Finn grabs his shoulders, but then shoves him upright. “Or maybe just lie down right there with your back turned to me. I want to try something”

Poe is too tired still to process it, he obeys with a yawn. And Finn proceeds to handle him around, then shifts above him and applies his incredibly strong but careful hands to Poe's shoulders. Rubs out all the knots that have accumulated there over the last few years, until the ex-pilot feels like jelly. Like moaning, happy jelly. He should be embarrassed about the noises he makes, but he can't seem to give a rat's ass about it.

~*~

A few hours later, Poe is standing in front of all the Resistance-members they could gather at such short notice. He has faced Rey's finger jabbed angrily into his chest (“You're not responsible for me, Poe Dameron” She had made that much clear when he'd tried in vain to keep her out of this and send her away) and countless questions about what “wicked weed” he's smoking these days, all the while trying to get his head around what he's actually supposed to tell the people looking at him.

“Okay, it doesn't matter to the cause, why I was there or how exactly I got there, but I've been to the First Order's local psycho-facility and made it back out with my wits still half intact-”

“It was on TV” - “You escaped like a boss” - “We saw that!”

“With the help of my friend Finn, I did escape, yeah. I will spare you and myself the details of what was done to me, just let me tell you that I came away just a fucking fraction short of broken. And that's what they do to people who are detained there on criminal charges, like me. They experiment with their minds, try to find out how much of what will turn them back into “normal”, obedient, uncritical citizens and how much more will fry the fuck out of their brains. As far as I could gather, they're planning to make it their standard form of treatment for any mental illness that could possibly lead to “criminal acts”. So, for any mental illness, really … It means, people, that anyone could be diagnosed with anything and turned into a fucking zombie. And if it works, well … they will expand their “programme” to schools, starting in New Mexico, then spreading across the U. S. … That's right, brothers and sisters. They will do it to your children, too, if they step out of line. We have to stop them … and it might be my “mental illness” and my “pathologically defiant temper” speaking, but I say, let's blow the whole shit UP! Rain FIRE on them! Burn them to the GROUND!” He whacks the table so hard his hand should hurt, but doesn't.

The crowd cheers, hollers and chants: “Pirate! Pirate! Pirate!”

'Oh, eternal apocalyptic FUCK! What have I done?' The room fades and he's in his jet again, fingers reaching for the button that drops the bombs without a tremble.


	7. Finn

(Chapter 7 … featuring a madman, a shitload of guns and Johnny Cash)

Mrs. Organa Solo has somehow convinced the crowd to postpone fire and brimstone hell at least for a few days and they have laid Poe on the couch in the next room. He's restless and keeps rambling about jets and airbrakes and incorrect angles, still with that haunted look in his eyes and fury radiating from him. Even Rey and BeeBee are genuinely scared of him right now, but they stay in the room nonetheless. Finn is the only person allowed to touch him, though.

“Auntie Leia!”, Poe calls until Mrs. Organa Solo has edged close enough for him to see her, “Get your man, I mean: your ex, erm, the guy himself … I mean: Can you please … get Han and his hairy sidekick in here? … There's something I need to tell you … about Ben. Thank you” Gone pale, she hurries from the room.

Finn knows what it is. Poe has told him everything, whispered it to him in a half-dreamlike state at night or forced it out between his fits of painful retching.

“His hairy sidekick?” Rey checks herself, but her question has broken the silence.

“Chewie. His co-pilot … Looks like a brute but he's the nicest guy ever” It's probably best if Poe does keep talking, even if it's terribly slurred.

“What's he need a co-pilot for?” Rey – clever girl – has assessed the situation correctly and tries to encourage him.

“Well, he's a smuggler, a'ight? He's the smuggler. They do it in the air, 'cause tunnel's for beginners, kid … They got this rickety old plane, the Falcon. Goes under the radar, jus' like that, and to Mexico and everything … Ain't a thing Han Solo and Chewie haven't tried to get across. They got the guns … There's a shiiiitload of guns, right there” Poe points in the general direction of the floor.

“Ah, the famous shitload of guns again, Pirate?”, Han says from the door, “You know only the bad boys brag”

Poe gives him a wicked, clear-eyed grin that transforms him into a version of himself Finn has never seen before. “You know I'm a bad boy, Cap'n” Poe sticks out his tongue by way of salute and he's probably about ten years old, right now. Then he comes back to himself and actually manages to sit up, so he can see everyone. “Chewie, man, come on in. You know I don't bite and neither does my dog” The co-pilot with the barely intelligible accent, never seen without the revolver dangling from his belt, steps in and closes the door. Now that they're all there, Poe takes a deep breath. “We need to talk about Ben”

“Where is he? Did you meet him in that place? What do you know about him?” Mrs. Organa Solo tries to keep calm but it's obvious from the quiver in her voice how strung up she is. Her ex-husband helplessly wants to put an arm around her, then doesn't.

“Auntie …”, Poe's eyes go soft, “He did this to me” 

She looks at him wide-eyed, shaking her head. “No, he can't have … Are you sure it was him?”

“As sure as the sky is blue … He's a bit older and he wears glasses, but the man behind the controls of that electrical shit was Ben … He amped it up every time I tried to talk sense into him, claiming he didn't know me, but of course he still does. It was like his hand jerked every time I called his name and he turned it to “maximum brain-fry” … I actually forgot my own name, but I still shouted his”

“When we couldn't find him anymore, I told myself he was dead”, Mr. Solo whispers, his face pale and his hands shaking, “We knew that something was wrong with Ben and Lord knows, we tried to fix it, but then he just vanished … Who'd have thought that he was so close all the time, doing these horrible things”

“He changed his name to Kylo Ren just around the time he changed his major subject from engineering to experimental psychology” Now, Finn is happy that he read the guy's personnel-file that lay open on a desk, even if he did get locked into a cupboard by his boss because of it. In the basement, for two days, no less. “He's chiefly responsible for the practical research and the progress of the … children's programme” He lets the full weight of that sentence sink in before he looks up. Ben's parents have finally assembled in a desperate embrace and Chewie is patting both their backs.

“We will get him out”, Mr. Solo says and straightens himself, looks his ex-wife in the eyes, “I don't know how and I don't know when, but I will bring him home and we will put him right. And we will fix Poe, as well. I swear to God. I swear on the Falcon and on the shitload of guns under our feet”

“Call the mission, Cap'n. I'm in” Poe salutes shakily with the wrong hand but they've already left the room. Suddenly, he grabs Finn's collar with more force than he should be capable of. “Get me in a jet, Finn! Let me drop the bomb, let me be brave again!” His eyes are blazing and Finn almost shies away. Almost.

“You don't need bombs to be brave, Poe Dameron. Sweetie, you only need your heart” Finn tries to disentangle Poe's hand from his throat.

“That's exactly what my father said and look where it got us” With half a laugh, he goes limp like a rag-doll and stares off into the distance. As soon as the bounty on their heads is lifted, this man's head needs a proper doctor, Finn decides as he picks him up with Rey's help.

~*~

Finn has sworn to keep an eye on Poe, but when he shoots from the sofa with a start, the pilot and his loyal little dog are no longer on the bed where they should be. Shit, he must've dozed off. Without bothering about putting on his shoes, Finn storms from the room and searches the house, then the basement. He has to turn a few corners outside until he hears the soft tones of a guitar that grow louder as he gets to the back of the barn, where a dim lamp casts a soft light. Finn hides in the shadows, to not give Poe the slightest reason to stop what he's doing, sitting on a little stage of boxes, BeeBee at his feet, listening intently.

“*... Well, if they freed me from this prison - If that railroad train was mine - I bet I'd move it on a little, farther down the line. Far from Folsom Prison, that's where I want to stay - And I'd let that lonesome whistle blow my blues away*”

The way he utterly loses himself in those words and the edge in his voice he can barely seem to control, even when he's calm and the way he's closed his eyes and his hair has fallen across them … It makes Finn swoon almost helplessly. He's never felt that strongly for another person. Sure, he's had the odd crush on someone, usually on girls, but he's never felt this nerve-racking disembodying flutter he gets every time Poe smiles or touches him. And he's never felt another's pain so heavily as he does Poe's. And ever since this afternoon, he's almost sure that Poe feels something similar, or at least his sane half does.

Poe's fingers are picking at the strings again and Finn leans forward a bit to look more closely. “*I wish I was a pilot, soaring over everyone and everything. Looking at the landscape, what a peaceful tiny scene … *“ BeeBee jumps up and barks which makes him stop. “Yeah, I know, li'l girl. I shouldn't” But the Corgi just cocks her head in Finn's direction and Poe blushes almost scarlet when he sees him. “Erm, hi Finn … Should've left you a note, I suppose”

“You should. I would've found you earlier, to hear about your whole stint in Folsom Prison”

“Oh, well … It's not my guitar and I guess I'm out of practice and …” He absently runs a fingernail along the stained upper string and it produces en eerie chirping noise, like a cricket a few octaves too deep.

“Don't be so self-conscious. It was beautiful. Could you, erm … would you … go on?” Finn sits down on the edge of the makeshift stage carefully.

Poe's hands fall away from the guitar. Not shaking, yet, but starting to tremble. “I'm sorry, buddy. I don't think … I can handle that right now”

“Never mind. Some other time? Your voice is … wicked”

“Well, I … I don't know …” He wipes his fingerprints off the guitar with the hem of his tattered shirt and puts it away into a case.

“Something's bothering you about this. You know there's nothing to be ashamed of. Not in front of me” 'I've already seen almost all of you'

Poe looks up and there's something in his eyes, a spark, that almost tips Finn over backwards. His jaw is set and he looks as defiant as Rey. “I would play you a love-song. And you would laugh about it”

“I wouldn't. Poe, you know I wouldn't. I would smile … and kiss you. And not stop again” This is way easier than Finn has feared. 'Just be honest, that's the trick'

His hands curled into tight fists, Poe jumps up and looks at him with his doe eyes and it's almost too much. “I swear, if you're shittin' with me … No, you are shittin' with me. Why would you even have hypothetical feelings for me? I'm a fucking train wreck”

“You're not. I'm sure we will fix this, you can get better” Finn stands before him, wraps warm hands around his fists. He has no idea where his determination and his courage suddenly come from, but he intends to go through with it, right now. “You're a sweet, passionate, loyal … seriously damaged but still running train … And I love you, Poe Dameron, just like that … And don't you dare answer me with profanities”

Slowly, Poe uncurls his fists and a light spreads across his face, an intensity that Finn hasn't seen yet. “There's no strong language strong enough to express this, anyway”, he laughs softly, “I love you, too. All the way to Folsom Prison and back”

Their kisses are messy, breathless and desperate. For a second, Finn is afraid he's being clumsy but Poe is just so … hungry, he wouldn't even notice. It's really like this is supposed to be and he could swear, in this moment, there's no telling where Poe ends and Finn begins.

~*~

The warm thin body in Finn's arms is all that matters for a second when he wakes up. Only Poe, close up against him, face relaxed and curls ruffled. But then he notices the dusty grass underneath him and his/Poe's leather jacket spread over them (he hadn't even been wearing that last night) and BeeBee growling and pulling at the hem of his jeans with her teeth.

“It's okay, dog. I'm up. What is it with you?” He sits up groaning and BeeBee scratches at one of the pockets on the jacket. Finn pulls a piece of paper from it, scribbled from top to bottom with unintelligible symbols. A thumbs-up, a guitar, a tall building, smilies and hearts. 'Whatever is th-'

“Oh”, Poe says softly, over his shoulder, “A letter from Rey. A bit hard to decipher, seeing as she can't write” He follows the seemingly random order with his fingers, across an unhappy smiley that has “Poe” and a happy one that has “Ren” written over it in crooked kid letters. Further down the page, the lines become thicker and wilder. “Well, I think what she's trying to tell us is: She can't bear to see me suffer anymore, because she loves me, and you, so she's hitched a ride to the city, to go to First Order and pick up my guitar … from Ben and he will be … Oh. A shitload of guns … Get up, Finn, get in the car. Fuck! Rey will try and shoot Ben”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song #1: Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues (of course ;) If you don't know this song, you should definitely give it a listen. If you do know it, you should, as well)  
> Song #2: the one from before again. I wonder how many people have checked it out and have it haunting their nightmares now?


	8. Rey

(Chapter 8 … in which Rey meets Ben, Ben meets his father and guns are fired)

Rey has all the right reasons to stand before the looming dreadful hospital, the gun tucked into the pocket of her new hoodie, one hand clenched around it. All these good people have suffered so much because of one stupid guy. Even little BeeBee has suffered because of him, indirectly. And he probably doesn't have all the right reasons.

Rey's reasons:  
Poe  
Finn  
their relationship  
Finn as a kid, indirectly  
BeeBee, indirectly  
Leia and Han Solo  
their relationship  
how Poe can sometimes hardly hold things because his hands shake too much  
but he has to be able to hold a guitar, because that's just beautiful  
Poe's guitar (retrieval mission)  
Finn's books (retrieval mission)  
a fellow homeless girl once went in there for shelter and never came back   
conquering her own fear before the Resistance gets here first  
wanting to be a member of the Resistance

That guy Ben's reasons (as assumed by Rey):  
some science shit  
maybe wanting to be famous?  
maybe and just maybe something his parents or Poe might have done wrong

Basically, Rey wants revenge. For Poe and how terrifyingly broken he is. For the way Finn sometimes drifts off when no-one else is looking and comes back with a shudder, refusing to admit how broken he is. (Seriously, she would do anything for these guys. They're like the brothers she never had) For Leia and Han who are clearly made for each other but were obviously torn apart by issues regarding their son. For how Poe and Finn's love might break in the same way, after it has only just begun a few hours ago. (Yes, she heard and saw everything, wrapped in their jacket, perched up on the roof beams of the barn, silently … crying – it's hard to admit – over everything but mostly over the beauty of the music. She had never seen two people kiss as intensely and when they'd passed out on the grass, her decision was made, she had covered them up and hastily scribbled the note) For moral support and to better conceal the pistol, she should have taken the jacket and let the two dorks freeze awake. She's been standing here for a while now. Afraid to go in.

Rey isn't completely out of this world and didn't grow up among animals. She knows that killing people technically doesn't help anyone and that her friends' wounds won't be magically healed as soon as that guy Ben's dead body hits the floor. But she can hope for it, maybe? Just maybe … Rey takes a deep breath and enters the building. At the security gate, at least a dozen alarms go off.

But instead of turning back and ditching it, she scrambles up her courage and just runs forward. She knows it's blatantly naïve, she's testing her luck too much and … it will probably be her demise. Rey pulls the gun out and points it at the gathered crowd.

“I want Ben Solo. Or Kylo Ren, or whatever he calls himself” She is aware of the shrieking fear in her voice and swings the pistol round a bit to impress them. “Point him out to me, or I will shoot people randomly!” No-one actually does anything until a very tall blond woman in a lab coat slowly steps forward and walks straight at her with a stoic impression. Rey's hand starts to shake and she closes her finger around the trigger. How the fuck could Poe kill people knowingly? Before the “broken”, he must have been a gentle, sweet guy. Rey is neither gentle, nor sweet, but she can't bring herself to do it. Tall Woman steps right in front of the gun and winds it out of Rey's clutching hands.

“If you want to shoot people, there are only two rules, stupid girl”, she says in a deep, calm voice, “First, you have to truly mean it. Second, read the manual and find out how to release the safety. Everything else is boring and will lead to nothing” She slings the gun like a pro, pushes some button or other that makes it click loudly, and calmly points it at Rey. “Now, come with me and you will meet Kylo Ren. It will be pleasant, but only for one of you … Try anything funny and they'll have to scoop up your brain with a teaspoon”

Rey concentrates on the sound of her own footsteps on the polished floor. 'Finn used to polish those floors', her head snaps at her and she snaps back at it to shut up. They reach an open door and instantly, Rey knows that this is the place Finn's and Poe's nightmares take them to. A type of chair with scary-looking contraptions stands in one half, control panels and computers in the other. Two men, one red-haired and the other dark-haired, are looking intently at one of the screens.

“Mr. Ren”, Tall Woman thunders with her voice and the dark-haired one only half turns around.

“What is it again? Can't you see we have work to do, doctor?”, he hisses and tries to wave her away and Rey hates him with a fury she's never known in herself.

“This young lady just came for you with a loaded gun. I think you should receive her” Rey's ears are ringing with the icy scorn Tall Woman puts into those two sentences and it finally catches Kylo Ren's attention. His eyes light up at the sight of Rey.

“Oh, yes. This one I should see to, myself. Alone” He looks kind of alike his parents, but there is nothing truly in him of either. No heart. Tall Woman shoves her into the chair-thing and straps her hands and legs before Rey can do anything, then she leaves with Redhead, discussing if it really is that homeless girl. Rey only knows that she is a homeless girl and she's not even sure of that. They have offered for her to stay on the ranch. Or maybe, if she asked Han Solo nicely, he would take her in to go smuggling with him. He seems like the only one who could truly get along with her, in the long run. But, anyway, first she has to get out of here alive.

“So, you're Benjamin Solo” She almost spits the name but he just stands there apathetically and looks at her. “Say something, you great big goon, or are you just gonna stand there and stare at my boobs all day? Do you like what you see?” She wriggles a bit to see how far the bonds will let her move. There's some space to operate in, but not much. But Rey is the sneaky type, she's always been.

“I'll let you rage for a bit until you get tired. Then we'll see what you're made of”

Rey remembers the tone in Tall Woman's voice and tries to put it on herself and target the subject she and Ben have in common. “You're quite right. I am enraged … If what you did to Poe Dameron is how you treat your friends, it's no wonder you have to turn to torture for some close human contact” Gotcha. His eyes are wide with surprise or shock or just reaction. 'Alright, time to take it up a notch, but be careful not to lose your cool, kid' “I'm not one for human contact myself, much, but it's Poe, man. He's like a panda. It's impossible to not cuddle him. But you know that … Just a shame that next time you come near him, he will bite your arrogant head right off … I bet it was you who nicknamed him Pirate, when you were kids” Something flashes across Ben's face. Pain? Disgust? 'Whatever, kid. Keep going!' “I bet he was your only friend, growing up. And I bet you shared all your secrets with him … Well, bad luck Big Mopey. Now that you've turned him against you and hollowed his head out with your “therapy”, he might just plaster them all over the internet and destroy your professional reputation before you've even got one … You're a disgrace, Ben Solo. A disgrace to your lovely fami-” Uh-oh. 'Bloody hell, kid. Wrong way, wrong way!' 

Ben steps up to her swiftly and attaches stuff to her head with unsteady hands. “I have no idea who or what you are talking about, but it's quite remarkable” Keeping his voice so calm when his eyes are obviously swimming in tears is also quite remarkable.

“Yes, you obviously have an idea” The first shock of electrical current makes her jump but it's not nearly as bad as she had feared. “Tell me, is the idea more like platonic or does it involve taking off clothes one by one, with your teeth, or something? Is that it? You used to be boyfriends? What was that kinky thing you asked from him and he laughed at you for? Do tell me, I'm ever so curious” He turns the electric up and while it does become more painful, it's not the full dose, it's not … properly attached to her. And Rey can carry on trampling on his weak spot while he thinks he's putting her through the worst he can do. She just has to play along and pull the right faces. “You know he does have a boyfriend, right now. Yeah, they could be getting it on just as we speak and I bet Poe gives him everything. They really love each other to bits, you see, and when people are really in love, they do the strangest things … But don't worry, Ben. I'm sure there's still a spot in his heart for you somewhere. Ah, sorry, wait a moment, that was BEFORE you turned him into a RAVING MADMAN, you brainless dipshit!” Rey looks at him as steadily as she can, but she really is beginning to see stars and feel pretty nauseous. 'And the next big gun, c'mon. Give him hell, girl!' (This time, it's Poe's voice, not Han Solo's, encouraging her) “Do let's talk about something else, shall we? What exactly is your problem with your father? He's like the coolest old guy I've ever met. So not snobbish. Your mother neither, she's very nice, offering to let me stay and everything … So, is that the problem? Is your little “I'm all grown up and professional”-bubble not hard enough to deal with a criminal Dad and your lovely Mom? I've got news for you, dipshit. They're exactly what I would have wanted my parents to be like, but we can't all be so lucky-”

“SHUT UP! Just shut the fuck up, why won't you?!” There's a slight whine in his voice and Rey roars laughter along with the voices in her head. He grabs the pistol Tall Woman has left on the table and shoots a hole right through the computer that obviously controls the electrical shocks. 

Rey feels her knees buck in fear, as he steps up to her, gun raised, but she knows her face doesn't betray her. “I'm not scared of you, Ben Solo. You're just a sulky little kid, like every bully” The door flies open and Tall Woman and Redhead storm in.

“Mr. Ren, this is unbearable! That was our most valuable piece of equipment”, Redhead snaps and Tall Woman just stands there, her hands folded behind her back, looking imposing like Rey wishes she could.

“It was an accident! Which of you two half-wits left a loaded firearm lying around with the safety detached?”

“How is one to know if an idiot picks it up and starts playing with it …” 

They leave the room still arguing about fault or not and Rey can't believe her luck. She sneaks out of the bonds almost too easily and rushes for the door. Alright, what's next? Escape, but where to? Rey decides to just run one way, when a whisper calls for her from the other. Finn is crouching behind a half-open door, Han and Chewie next to him. She stumbles in and falls into Finn's arms. 

“Kids! No time for that now. Let's hoof it … And you, girl … What the hell were you thinking? Should have waited for us” Han pulls them forward and down the stairs. Two storeys down, they hear the commotion from above. 

“The girl! She's gone”, Ben shouts and obviously yanks the door open and rushes after them.

On the ground-floor, they run for the exit, but Han stops in the middle of the corridor. “You go ahead. I made a promise and I'll at least try and keep it”

“But-”

Han cuts her protest short and shoves her towards his co-pilot. “Chewie, get the kids out of here, I'm alone on this”

They clear the exit, but all three turn around immediately, to stay by the cracked-open door and watch, just in case he needs help. Ben turns up merely a moment after they've all acquired their positions.

“Father, get out of my way, or I will shoot you. I'm not kidding this time” He points the gun at Han who raises his hands and doesn't back off even a millimetre.

“Ben, we need to talk. I'm here to take you home”

“I really have no time for this, Father. I'm after your latest acquaintance and she's run that way … with my fucking ex-janitor and your insufferable co-pilot. I can see them, right there. Now get out of my way”

“Ben, you don't have to do this. It's never too late to come back. We will welcome you with open arms and help you through this. Whatever it takes”

Ben whispers something they can't hear and shoots him, point-blank, without further ado. A lot of things happen at once: Rey yells “NO!” and wants to rush forward, but Finn grabs her legs, Chewie curses, shoots at Ben and oddly hits him, then shoos the kids out, all while Han Solo falls and hits the floor.

Chewie yells at them to run across the bridge before them and for once, they do as they're told without hesitation. He takes a detour to get the car. It's an unnecessarily long bridge, Rey thinks as they run along it. 

“Rey! And the traitor!”, Ben's voice soon calls from the other side, “Run, you cowards or come back and avenge him, if you dare” He's standing there, his arms outstretched, but slightly crooked.

A hot wave of hate makes Rey turn around, just as she realises that she's unarmed. So much for the shitload of guns. Finn has one, though, a rifle slung across his back, but he knows what she's up to and doesn't give it up freely, shielding her from the line of fire. Until he stops. Because … because he's been hit by a pistol bullet right beneath the left shoulder. Panic. Panic panicpanicpanic – Fight! Rey raises the rifle from his limp hands and takes aim at the laughing murderer on the other side – the ground comes up under her and she topples over, dropping the gun. What the flying fuck? A folding bridge?

“Is it working?” Poe clambers up the side suddenly, all the colour leaves his face as he sees Finn on the ground, in a puddle of blood. “Fuck it, Rey! Call a BLOODY ambulance!” He throws a phone at her and pulls Finn off the moving bridge, trying to put pressure on his wound at the same time. “Darling, you're gonna be alright”

Rey stutters their location down the emergency line, while she hears Poe's frantic voice behind her. “Don't you dare die on me, Finn. Not today and not because of him” She is almost relieved when everything turns black. The last thing she sees is Chewie pulling up in the old Nissan and wonders if they'd all fit in there if Ben had decided to come.


	9. Poe

(Epilogue … in which Luke Skywalker says nothing)

It's been two months since they've buried Han Solo in the graveyard on Organa Ranch. Poe still can't think of him without crying but – well, the other things, they're getting better. Rumour has it, the FBI's on the First Order's asses and they've withdrawn from the state. Ben has vanished, but he'll surely be found. Their hospital is closed. Poe's Dad has come to visit him. And while it was awkward, it still felt good.

Finn's been back on his feet for a while now and has more or less moved into his room in the psychiatric ward. Why they didn't give them a double-room straight away is still shrouded in mystery but that's alright. No use pondering, Pirate, it won't be forever. In a week or two, they will move back to the ranch and have way more space.

Just now, Rey is lying across the foot of the bed, munching a giant chocolate bar and leafing through a magazine (she's learned how to read, Auntie Leia has taught her), while Finn is sitting next to Poe against the headboard and BeeBee is lounging on a pile of clothes on the floor. Rey has just finished her first full account of what happened between her and Ben in the electrical room. Poe is strong enough for those things now.

“And you really think that I'm his biggest soft-spot? Not, you know, Han or Leia?”

“Nope, definitely you”

“Phew, wow. I had no idea he was into me. If I'd known that when we were younger, things might've turned out differently”

“Huh? How exactly? Less lonely nights?” Finn nudges him playfully.

“Well, I guess I might have been able to save him, I mean. Could've tried, at least”

Finn looks like he's going to say something incredibly lovely, but Rey chimes in. “Forget it, Poe. That dipshit's been completely mind-fucked. By himself, probably. It would've just been a waste of condoms”

“Rey!!”

“And love and time, is what I was going to say, but it's so easy to be shocked at foul-mouthed little Rey, isn't it?”

“Kid, you've got to learn how not to do that. Mister Skywalker won't have any of it when you're at his school. Foul-mouthed little brats always get their share in the end where he's involved”

“Well, you would know that first-hand, wouldn't you?”

“Sod off, you” Poe stabs her side with his toe and she rolls over giggling. “Better tell me how your driving-lessons with Chewie are going. I wanted to do that myself but you're so impatient”

Rey throws an arm across her forehead, groaning. “I should've waited for you, really. I don't understand half of what he's saying …”

~*~

It takes another month until they're both fit enough for the real world again. Rey and Chewie pick them up in the old Nissan. BeeBee jumps around in the vehicle happily.

“That's it, guys” Poe stretches his legs as best he can in the backseat, while Rey is mumbling: “Parking brake? Parking brake!”

“Let's get out of this -”

“Godforsaken hellhole?”, Finn offers, and Rey giggles: “Yeehaw!”

“- this place” Poe turns his chin up, feigning pride at his exceeding class.

“Wow, you've really improved on that sharp tongue of yours”, Finn chuckles.

“You bet, babe”, Poe pulls him in for a kiss and reduces him to needy bits with one expert flick of his sharp tongue, “I love you”

“Get a room!”, Rey growls and Chewie growls approval.

“Shit, I love the hell outta you”, Finn mumbles, “Was that about right?”

“The “fucking” hell, if you please. We still have to work on your use of the F-word …”

And in this moment, Poe has everything. He has his Finn, he has his BeeBee, he has his shit together. And Rey is the sister he never even knew he wanted. And they all have new jackets.

They know, the nightmares will come back, but this time they'll have each other, and some day, it won't be so bad any more. That's how you notice the time pass.

~Finis~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's it. Can't believe I've actually posted this and am shaking a bit. I will probably go and hide for a while now.  
> Also, I will probably come back later to figure out this HTML business and fumble my formatting back in. Or maybe not, we'll see.
> 
> I hope someone liked it at least a little bit. I'd be 50/50 honoured and freaked out by comments ;)   
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
